The Calm Before the Storm

I’m writing this in the coffee shop where I always study. I woke up this morning in my own bed, I ate breakfast while my dog sat on the floor next to me hoping that I’d drop something, and I’m going meet up with some friends during their lunch break. It’s almost like nothing is happening. But this is just the calm before the storm.

In three days I will be in Korea.

After over a year of planning, 6 months of extra waiting, I am finally going to be living in Korea. It’s pretty much impossible for me to wrap my head around but regardless it’s happening.

The nerves hit their all time high about a week or two ago and they seem to be settling down now. Things are getting more and more real and as they do I’m getting more of a tangible grasp of how the next few days are going to go.

My bags are pretty much packed, with just the last-minute “stuffing as much extra stuff as possible into any and all open crevices” left to do. I have someone to pick me up from the airport in Korea, I’ve made plans to hang out with my friends in Seoul during my week of chill time before orientation. It’s actually going to happen.

Again I can hardly understand it.

Today is my last full day in my hometown and if I start to think about that for too long the emotions will kick in.

I honestly didn’t expect to be sad to leave this town. I knew I would be sad to leave my family and my friends but my relationship with my hometown has been weird over the past few years and I really expected to be happy to leave.

But now not so much. I found a community here, I got to see my parents every single day which is something I don’t take for granted. I met people, I made new memories here and actually considered what my life could look like if I stayed. (Which 6 months ago I would have never thought about.) And all of that has resulted in slowly but surely replacing some of the bad memories from the rough time when I lived here last, with positive ones. Memories of friends and holidays and learning and my family.

When I originally planned to move to Korea last August, I would have had exactly one week at home after moving out of my apartment at school. One week to pack, to process my last semester of university, to see my friends, to see my family, to say goodbye. I think subconsciously I thought that if I just got out as quickly as possible it would be less painful to leave.

And I was absolutely right. But I’m still glad it happened that way.

I will be sad to leave. And I’m so thankful for that.

 

 

Anywayyy, things on this site should be getting a lot more interesting here in the next few weeks/months! I’m going to do my very best to keep up with writing, despite being very overwhelmed and very busy I’m sure. But I’m hoping my “chill week” in Seoul will give me the time I need to get adjusted and over the jet lag before the real craziness starts. So be on the look out for more posts! Thank you all for reading and being patient with me over the last few kind of aimless months. Things are finally starting, and I can’t wait ^^